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Envisioning Truth

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Jul. 6th, 2004 @ 02:30 pm
I went to Galveston for the 4th. The beach was as disgusting as it usually is, but I still loved being out there close to the water. I mean, it's water. I love being near almost any kind of water. My aunt(Laurie) and uncle (Pete), and my uncle's sister(Kim) rented a beach house, and invited their relatives to come down for the 4th of July. It was pretty awesome. I hung out with Joan's children (Allison, Ryan, and Mike) mostly. All of the teenagers slept on the balcony, but some fucking idiot was setting off fireworks on the beach until 4 in the morning. So none of us slept very well. Otherwise though, it was pretty cool.
Current Mood: calmcalm

Jul. 2nd, 2004 @ 04:56 pm
QuizzesCollapse )

Jun. 22nd, 2004 @ 08:30 pm
I've been going on a little nostalgia trip today. I've been listening to California by Phantom Planet, which for those of you who don't know is the theme song for The O.C. Great, great song. I was so obsessed with the O.C. last winter. Now, I have the sudden craving to watch it again. It's bringing back a lot of memories. There was this kid in my Biology class at Bellaire who looked(looks) exactly like Benjamin McKenzie(Ryan). God, weird stuff like Jude Law and The O.C. brings back so many memories from Bellaire. It's funny how when we think about the past we don't remember the bad times, we just remember the good. Heh. God, I miss Shaday, Anya, Kara, and all the other people I used to know. There was so much shit at that school (mostly my fault, but still) that I don't know why I'd want to go back, but people seemed so much more artsy and open and non-judgemental. You don't meet people like that very often in Baytown or LaPorte. I'm a new me. I keep to myself. I'm not that girl you used to know. I swear, I'm sweet and innocent. I've learned from my mistakes. I promise. I just don't think many people realize what it's like to have so much shit going on your brain at once that sometimes you'd like to take out everyone in your path, just so you can be on your own and figure it all out. I don't know. It's funny. I've never written like this before. All of this is pretty much is coming out of my sub-concious. It feels so good to get the past 3 years out on paper. Or maybe it was just half a year, but hell it seems like 5 years. I don't know what happened, but she triggered something within me when she said all that shit in our hotel room in San Antonio. I feel so different than the girl I was even last March. I know what's going on in my life, and I'm in charge of it. I've never felt like that before. Not once in my life. I always felt I had to please everyone else, so people would like me, and I'd be happy. That was bull-shit. I've finally realized that I have to love myself, and do what makes me happy (but still be kind and cool to other people), and then people will see you're beaming this wonderful energy, and love you for it. I guess that I've figured out that I'm this new bohemian chick who loves art, indie movies, emo music with some acoustic and classic rock thrown in, and would never want to intentially hurt anyone. I'm this girl who would do anything to help out the environment and finally achieve peace(not going to happen anytime soon, or maybe ever, but hey a girl can be a visionary, can't she?). And no, nothing will ever be exactly perfect in my life, but I realize that I control my destiny, and staying true to myself is something that I can't give up for anyone, especially not a guy. For once in my life, I feel truly happy and free.
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Boys Like You- Leona Naess

In Some Strange Way, This Describes Me May. 24th, 2004 @ 04:09 pm
Ocean Avenue
By: Yellowcard

There's a place off Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We were both 16 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet
We were both 18 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

If I could find you now, things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep I dream and it gets me by
I could make believe that your here, tonight
That your here tonight

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me, and take me away

I remember the look in your eyes
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight
Not here, not now
We're looking up at the same night sky (oh oh oh)
Keep pretending the sun will not rise (oh oh oh)
We'll be together for one more night
Somewhere, somehow (oh oh oh oh)

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away, yeah

May. 14th, 2004 @ 10:28 am
I'm at school right now. I should really be working on my poetry project. Well, actually, I'm sort of going between working on my poetry project and updating my journal. Anyways, not much has happened this week. I'm starting to believe I'm living in England without the sexxy accents, though. I wonder, is there a reason it has to rain every single day? I mean, I love rain, but it can get a bit annoying. On Tuesday, I was stuck at the library without any electricity because all of the power went out. It was different. I met this cool chick who I probably wouldn't have talked to if the electricity hadn't gone out.

Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: Just Can't Get Enough- New Radicals
Other entries
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5 More Days!!!
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I found out yesterday about the American troops taking Iraqi prisoners hostage and torturing them. It disgusts me that a man, even a man such as Donald Rumsfield, could know this information, but just sit there and let it continue to happen. Bush didn't even know. When he finds out, though, he doesn't even think Rumsfield should have to resign. What the hell is wrong with the people running our country? It terrifies and disgusts me that some of the leaders of AMERICA would act this way. Then, yesterday, there was a poll on some political website to see if we should still continue to be at war, and 42% of the people who voted say that we should stay. What is wrong with America?

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Got this from estelaaragon

Flash from the Past: Bold the things you remember

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: M.C. Hammer

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."

12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You played the game "MASH"

17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it.

18. L.A. Gear...

19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.

20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.

21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."

22. You wanted to be a Goonie.

23. You ever wore flourescent clothing.

24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

26. You took lunch pails to school.

27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
Those things were awesome. I remember my brother had a lot of them, but I was too young to know how to get them myself.

28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.

29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.

30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.

32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.LOL. What a joke that turned out to be.

33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals.

34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know what you are, but what am I?

35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!" My brother used to say that ALL THE TIME to get out of doing chores.

36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.

38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.

40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "totally awesome."

41. You remember Popples.!!!!!!!!! THOSE THINGS WERE SO FRIGGIN' AWESOME!

42. "Don't worry, be happy." Won the grammy for best song the year I was born (1988).

43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.

44. You wore socks scrunched down.

5. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"

46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.

47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

48. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"

49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies.

50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.I'm not afraid to say I still like that show.

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - "YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME"

55. You played and or collected "Pogs" I want those things to come back! They were so awesome.

56. You used to pretend that you could transform into a Power RangerNo, I didn't, but I remember that show and I absolutely hated it, even then.

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"hit the comment button. type your opinion of me. make it anonymous, please. i have no way of knowing who says what. if you even know a BIT about me, comment. always looking for improvement..i wonder if i'll find it. be honest. and please, do comment."
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I thought I missed him. Then, I realize I just miss feeling wanted. I guess I'm going to break up with him on Monday. I don't know. I barely know him, and I'd like to be friends with him some more before I go back out with him (if I do). I don't think I can give as much to the relationship as he can, because my feelings definitely aren't as strong as his. In a way, it's kind of sad, but I'll get over it. I just think it'd be selfish of me to stay with him just because I want to feel wanted.

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